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Grief clients often tell me they fear they are having a “pity party” or are “feeling sorry for themselves.” Perhaps they are being self-centered or seeking attention, they wonder, or maybe they are lingering in their grief and should be feeling better by now. Many feel pressure, real or imagined, from others to feel better quickly.

Most of those who worry they are feeling sorry for themselves are people who are not used to being self-focused or getting attention from others. They are typically caregivers, not care receivers.

Many clients are relieved when I suggest that grief is similar to the flu in the way grief turns their energy inwards. I remind them that even the best caregiver cannot give to others when he or she has the flu. If you are grieving and a caring person who can not give to others right now, know you are feeling sorrow, not sorry for yourself.

CLICK HERE to purchase a copy of my book “Getting Grief Right.”


Getting Grief Right

by Dr. Patrick O'Malley

A masterpiece that will touch your heart and soul with healing powers. • A compassionate, wise, and practical guide • A must read for anyone who is grieving the loss of a loved one.


Grief Therapist

Dr. Patrick O’Malley is a psychotherapist in Fort Worth, Texas, who specializes in grief counseling. For 40 years, he has counseled individuals, couples and families
in his private practice.


Getting Grief Right

by Dr. Patrick O'Malley

By the time Mary came to see me, six months after losing her daughter to sudden infant death syndrome, she had hired and fired two other therapists. She was trying to get her grief right...

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