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Another Layer of Grief


A grieving man described the sadness he experienced due to the behavior of some family members after his wife’s death. “My adult step-children asked me about our wills before the day of her funeral had ended. I could not believe what I was hearing. How could they be so insensitive on this of all days?” “Was their behavior out of character?” I asked. “No, not really. They have always seemed only interested in her for what she could give them materially. They saw her as an endless resource to meet their needs. But, I expected better of them at her death. I love them but right now I do not want to be around them. Their behavior felt like another layer of grief.”

Understandably, we expect exceptional behavior from troublesome family members and friends when a loved one dies. Indeed, some individuals “rise above” their usual way of doing things at a time of loss. But loss does not always create an exemption from the difficult behavior of those in our circle. Experiencing troublesome relationships during a time of mourning adds pressure to what is already an emotionally stressful time.

If your loss story includes the experience of difficult family and friends, be careful about the energy these relationships require. If you believe reconciliation is possible, try to do so on your time schedule. If reconnecting is not possible, allow yourself to mourn this added layer of grief.

CLICK HERE to purchase a copy of my book “Getting Grief Right.”


Getting Grief Right

by Dr. Patrick O'Malley

A masterpiece that will touch your heart and soul with healing powers. • A compassionate, wise, and practical guide • A must read for anyone who is grieving the loss of a loved one.


Grief Therapist

Dr. Patrick O’Malley is a psychotherapist in Fort Worth, Texas, who specializes in grief counseling. For 40 years, he has counseled individuals, couples and families
in his private practice.


Getting Grief Right

by Dr. Patrick O'Malley

By the time Mary came to see me, six months after losing her daughter to sudden infant death syndrome, she had hired and fired two other therapists. She was trying to get her grief right...

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