Compare and Contrast
We all remember the assignment we were given in English class to compare and contrast. I often hear folks do this exercise with their grief. It is almost always done in a minimizing form, such as “My loss pales in comparison to the story I read in the paper today.”
Perhaps there is some value in measuring the perspective of one’s loss by the size of another. In some cases I hear gratitude that the person’s loss is not a worse story. However, comparing losses can be a set up for believing our loss does not deserve grief to the level we are grieving. Folks can feel guilty for the size of their grief when there may be more tragic stories than theirs.
I always encourage those I work with to not minimize their story by comparing it to another. Own it as yours. You grieved because you loved, and that is the measure of your loss.
CLICK HERE to purchase a copy of my book “Getting Grief Right.”
Getting Grief Right
by Dr. Patrick O'Malley
A masterpiece that will touch your heart and soul with healing powers. • A compassionate, wise, and practical guide • A must read for anyone who is grieving the loss of a loved one.
DR. PATRICK O’MALLEY
Grief Therapist
Dr. Patrick O’Malley is a psychotherapist in Fort Worth, Texas, who specializes in grief counseling. For 40 years, he has counseled individuals, couples and families
in his private practice.
AS SEEN IN THE:
Getting Grief Right
by Dr. Patrick O'Malley
By the time Mary came to see me, six months after losing her daughter to sudden infant death syndrome, she had hired and fired two other therapists. She was trying to get her grief right...
